in my blood I take a few steps and it's almost sexual I haven't been here a whole year and I bring something, he says my ancestry to esoteric christianity and when I speak to the Jew in me on Napoleon's terrace he says "my language been dead 2000 years" so keep your shoes on it's no holy place and it's soaking in blood the land is soaked in blood and it wasn't my blood well I had done all the right exercises still I don't like me very much he says he doesn't mind the fur that's covering my body only it makes it hard for skin to touch and it's not in my blood and how will I know content from form? and I how will I brave the less travelled road? my diet of fear my diet of doubt it's entered my blood I used to believe in philosophy but now gods and demons are dancing with me and there is a light that is shining bright when darkness reigns reigns in blood my love awaits he said if love don't save us I don't know what will I said we'd have to become otherwise obsessed with other things my love awaits me in another land maybe in another time? maybe she's a woman in a body of a man and I don't wanna play the part till then I thought it was a boy who carried books around I thought it might have been a girl with comfort in her sound but this is not where they were found my love is teasing me in dreamland she kisses me and smiles "your moon may want them magazine covers but what you need is a house and children 2.5" I breathe on yoga mats and try to find my bliss that inner happiness is all we ever need but it's never been enough my love and I are both complete and whole we revel in the friction of our souls our love is free and unconditional but who will fill this gap? who will fill this gap? let's go to the beach it's not too cold to swim and just in case we'll leave behind everything maybe a wave will tempt us after our love forsake us and go under other side of the veil if there is another side to the veil then I had known you and I will again I light a candle I learn to live with my fears the night descending the floorboards creaking sometimes I want to call you but then I remember where is the white of the snow? the warmth of the sand? I take your hand in mine I light a candle I learn to live with the dark I want to know now I want to know where you are sometimes I want to call you but then I remember. lines he undoes his tie he let's it slip to the floor the bedroom is dark she doesn't wait up for him anymore somewhere outside sirens chase tragedies through their bathroom mirror he takes out his lens and now he can't see the lines in his face that stand for the lines he can't cross and therefore his share of the bed is a citadel some boys in the park wonder if he remembers their names a picture fell out on the shiny parquet without a sound and lines in his face that stand for the lines he can't cross that stand for the beauty which he can't afford they told him instead "it's all in your head" tomorrow I could get run over by a bus wouldn't it be funny if today I bothered much with what people think and what my future may hold but then again no one wants to stay out in the cold and I knocked on doors that opened and I walked inside and closed them it didn't take much I am of the lucky ones but lines in his face that stand for the lines he can’t cross that stand for the beauty he craves which stands for this sobering segregation his share of the bed is a citadel too many windows in the mirrorball I saw our future deflecting off the studs on your dress you expose a thigh and mime that you love me I smile with crossed arms I'm watching you dance my office upstairs is where we first kissed I locked the door and carressed your hair you raised both your legs propped up on my desk I felt the disco beat in my brain but don't kiss my now there's too many windows someone might see inside of me and when we're alone all that I wish is for a piece of normality when the cops come you are defiant I get so angry with your sillinness you're giving them excuses to hit you what is so brave about that? so don't kiss me now... wanna cut your dress short remove all obstructions imagine holidays we could take on the black sea sipping margaritas dancing outside in the rain and then there won't be enough windows for me to shout proclaim my love we could be free we could be happy with this minor adjustment but you don't comply always had it your way stubbornness incarnate why do you still revel in your abberation? take all this cash buy something nice don't ever give up on yourself and as for me I'll fade in your shadow I wasn't strong enough to be your man safe how did we get like this? well it wasn't me who said "all of your fear ends now" but you couldn't hold it do the currents divert our thoughts? do you think 3 months is enough? and the colours will coax our minds into feeling safe what day is it today? I'm losing my count so do you love me in your own way? make me believe maybe this digging will some day stop? in my skin in my soul and the theatre sails away on the wings of your word and the colours all fade to white and your sonic sphere expands and your angel starts to cry how did we get like this? it wasn't me who said "all of your fear ends here" but I couldn't take it do the currents divert our thoughts? do you think 3 months is too much? and the colours will coax our minds into feeling safe. the rose how long has it been sitting on this wall the sun painting my hair yellow nothing but sand for miles and miles the horizon makes it seem a congested hourglass nothing moving I think about home don't know why I call it that humans were never supposed to fly in the first place if I should fall I will crawl along the earth for the rest of my days an aeroplane zooms above my head guess he found that missing part after all it's nobody's fault it's nobody's fault patterns in the sand is all that keeps me occupied all the travels that I need only happen in my mind and I don't believe in God but I once saw a flock of geese that could carry me could have carried me away all your little suicides every day still you come pleading begging me to stay I don't know what is sadder let me be I've an early appointment tomorrow only what with two suns circling tomorrow never comes and the rose I couldn't find just some petals along the way |